31 | 03 | 06
This blog is moving! It is. Really.
If you want to know about my life after 31|03|06 then go here: http://www.inacorner.co.uk/blog/
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09 | 03 | 06
I don't think I've ever made ambient music before (apart from maybe 'Rejoicing...'). Which I find a little odd, it's definately a concept in music that I identify strongly with. Also, of all the contact I've had with other musicians of different types it's the ambient/soundscape musicians that I've found I have most in common with (or indeed anything in common with at all). Lastly, the sounds I make and enjoy lend themselves to incorporation into ambient structures. It's strange that I haven't been writing ambient pieces before now.
Perhaps it's my irrational insistance on incorporating these sounds into songs. I feel like the music I make naturally splits itself into two different parts: songs and instrumentals. I write each for different reasons, they come from different places (although, perhaps, they ultimately scratch the same itch). Why don't I just let them live separately? Why do I always insist on crowbaring one into the other?
I think I could probably answer that, but I'm digressing. I started writing this to say that I think I'm beginning to 'get' ambient music. I've been doing a lot of improvs on drones and loops and then just letting the loops play, putting the guitar down and listening for a while.
Actually, I already understand ambient music, it's just that now I think I'm realising the power of playing and listening at the same time. I get to enjoy the music as a listener and yet have control over what I'm listening to (I don't like listening to my songs, it's all in the playing for me). Fade out a loop here, create a drone there, reverse this, bitcrush that. It's like djing but with more control.
Problem is that I'm pretty sure these improvs suck. I'm trying to do a couple of these every day for practice. It's too easy to let a loop play for 30 mins and then transition completely in 30 seconds. I need to have a stronger grasp of structure and a better system of control. I'm just not that good at the djing bit yet.
Loving it though.
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07 | 03 | 06
I've not updated in a while. Not even this year... happy new year. What is it about this time of year that I don't update the blog? Was the same last year. Actually, this year has started a lot like last year, with me being insular, irritable and spending lots of time in my room writing music.
It's been a strange couple of months. A lot yet nothing happening simultaneously. My situation is something like... I'm still at 'home'; I'm looking for somewhere to live and a job anywhere else; I've had the interview for the JET program, I'll be hearing about that in April... that's about it I think.
The music writing has been going really well. I left Glasgow before Christmas with a really clear idea of an EP I wanted to record. I had 2 and a half songs at that stage. After new year I got to work writing more and bringing together a recording setup in this tiny room. I fully intended the record to be voice and acoutic only but (as always) it didn't work out like that. Guitar Rig 2 arrived before new year and I've been going nuts with it, it's so powerful. It's getting very close to what I know processing can be to me, totally versatile with control over every parameter of processing. Total control isn't quite possible with GR, but very nearly - a few additional features and it would be all I ever need for sound creation. Anyway, I finished the EP in the middle of Feb. It's called Ground State. It's hard to say how chuffed I am with it, it's exactly what I hoped it would be.
Even though it's finished you're not going to get to hear it just yet. You will though. More on that soon.
There has been a couple of other tracks I wrote during the past couple of months, I thought I'd upload them here. One isn't finished yet so I'll post that when it's done. The other is a track I wrote for Ali F. It's here: north star
Incidentally, I'm running out of web space so I'll be removing a couple of tracks soon. '...benzene' and 'red moon' will probably be the first to go, so if you want to hear them and haven't downloaded them already, best do it now.
So yeah, it's been a weird time recently. I guess I'm always emotionally charged when I'm spending so much time making music but there's also been one or two things that have been getting to me. I'm not going to talk about that though, I promised I wouldn't.
I've been doing lots of walking. It helps. And there's good hills and paths here.
Friends also help, but I haven't been seeing many on account of being in the middle of nowhere. I'm finding that difficult. I need to get away from here.
Right, this is going to descend into crap if I keep going. With any luck I'll update again soon. Maybe.
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28 | 12 | 05
Hi folks, I haven't spoken here in a while. Hope you all had a jolly Christmas. Things were a bit strange here with Lou being away. Much quieter than usual. We've had a little snow and are due some more. It would be white and foggy outside but the streetlights are turning everything yellow.
I'm feeling too melancholy this evening. Add to this that nobody is answering their phone and I'm beginning to feel like I'm the only person I know without a life. A geek in front of his computer in a pokey bedroom at his parents' place. This wasn't part of the plan, was it?
So I thought I'd tell you what I've been up to for the last couple of months. Mostly wanting to do something other than what I've been doing. The job I left before I went to Norway wanted me back. Faced with 2 months of staying with my folks and being skint, I thought it might be a good idea. I crashed at my sister's place in Hamilton while she was away in the US. I can't really say much about those 2 months other than that I'm very glad I had plenty of decent music to get me through them. You're not living when you're doing nothing that you'd choose to given a free circumstance.
I came back home for Christmas. I call it home but it isn't, not really. I don't have a home at the moment. I mean, I have nowhere to go back to anymore, nowhere I can relax. A home is pretty important to me, I'm introverted by nature and I need to know I've got somewhere I can go to get away from people, otherwise I feel like a seal under ice. I feel like that now.
I have no job and no home. Right now I'd move anywhere, anywhere I could get enough of a job to cover rent and food and a room that I could call my own.
I've done no exercise in the last few months. Not since Norway. I can feel my body complaining. I tried to go cycling today but my bike has long since packed up. There isn't much left of it that's usable. I might be able to salvage the frame. I hate running but I think I might have to resort to it if I can't find a more enjoyable way of burning calories. I might buy a map and take some long walks.
We have folk coming to visit for new year, which means things will get even more claustrophobic around here. I usually don't enjoy new year but I think we're going to a ceilidh so it might not be too bad.
I only ever post here when I feel like crap. Sorry about that.
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04 | 12 | 05
Living life without the record industry
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17 | 11 | 05
I love sounds that don't sound like they come from any particular instrument. Sounds with a neutral timbre, dissociated from mental recognition.
As a result, over the last few years I've played around with various ways of killing off the attack of sounds I'm making with the guitar. Looking at my pedalboard now, all I see are various tools for doing this plus a pitchshifter, a filter and a looper. I thought I'd write out the few of the tools and techniques I've used to kill attack. Maybe it will help me think of more.
There are two techniques (that I use and can think of):
1. Volume control
2. Sustain and layering
Volume control:
The most obvious but (strangely) the last I developed an appreciation for.
My volume pedal and tremolo pedal would fall under this category. The volume pedal is obvious enough, it's easier than using your hand to turn the volume knob on the guitar while playing at the same time. When playing with the tremolo set a low speeds you have to time the pick carefully, but at high speeds the strobe like effect chops up the attack enough to make it indistinguishable from the sustain.
I rarely use either of these exclusively, I most often use these with some type of sustaining. The volume pedal usually comes before the sustaining and the tremolo usually after.
Sustain and layering:
Increasing the sustain of the note relative to the attack and then layering sounds on top of each other. Because the sustain is layered and not the attack the overall effect is to reduce the prominance of the attack in the sound.
The most effective tools are delay and reverb. Both have the above effect but obviously create it in different ways. Delay is the most used effect on my board and most of its use is to sustain and layer sounds. I use reverb too, but only since I've started using my pc to process have I really used it as a primary sustain and layer effect.
There are other methods I use as well as these.
Using gain increases the relative sustain but, of course, in itself has no ability to layer sounds. Using a fuzz combined with delay I find effective at killing attack. Gain pedals also have an interesting effect on the harmonic content of the sound (another effect on timbre).
I also use an ebow. Much like gain it increases the relative sustain of the note - infinately increases it I guess seeing as there is no attack at all. Again, no layering by itself. More interesting harmonics as well, not something I've explored in great depth yet though.
These are the few methods I've thought of. Anybody found any other good ways of doing this?
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09 | 11 | 05
I've been to Norway. Which is nice. I kept a diary while I was there, and here it is:
- norway diary -I stayed with Kris in Oslo most of the time, very decent of him to put up with me. Did some travelling in the west too. I won't say any more, it's there in the diary.
Sorry about the poor quality of the pictures, they kinda suck. I took them all at 2M and had to reduce them for upload here. I've tried to keep them ~50k. If there's any pictures you like and want to see the full size thingy then drop me an email and I'll send it over (although I can't send them all - that's just too much).
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10 | 10 | 05
New hair! I've been wanting to do this for ages. Dead chuffed. Judy did this to me, I'll love her forever.
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14 | 09 | 05
I'm rediscovering the power of daydreaming. It's the gift of dull, repetitive work.
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11 | 09 | 05
None of my friends appear to be updating their blogs so I may as well update mine (so I can moan at them). It's been a while, a lot's been happening. There's a lot to tell and a lot to say so I'm gonna split this into tasty, bitesize chunklets.
Over the last month I've slept in seven different beds - two of which were beds. The lease on the flat ran out several weeks ago. I was all ready to leave, head home and find a job there when Deek puts my name in at his work (still owe you for that) and I get a job. Homeless but with work, Stuart and Kevin (aka The Beautiful Friends Who Saved My SORRY ASS) saved my sorry ass. I've been crashing with them for a while. Here is my new employer... Morgan Stanley.
Most of you will know how this has been messing with with my conscience - hell, most of you will have put up with me whining about it - so I'm not going to ramble on about that. It's short term and there's happier things to talk about.
Right now I'm on a train back from Reading. Colin and Andie got married yesterday. It was a beautiful day - it made me happy. I think I learned how to smile this weekend. Seriously. I'm such a sap.
I had the privilege of playing drums during the service. I duly honoured this by almost being late, being a bag of nerves and introducing a timely (but embarrassing) improvisation into the wedding vows. **shudder**
My inability to talk to people has been playing on my mind a bit. An example...
At the wedding yesterday there was a girl. She was beautiful. She also seemed friendly and approachable. I couldn't bring myself to go say hi. I'm sure there was plenty of opportunity, but I couldn't do it. Why?? What was there to lose? I'm pathetic.
Recently I've been overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of my friends. I think it's worth making a list (this is only a few examples from the last few weeks - and uncomprehensive):
Derek - Getting me a job.
Yves - Offering me use of his flat (!) and laptop while he was away.
Jay and Matt - Putting up with me this weekend. (Matt also hosts this site at no charge!)
Kris - Offer of a roof over my head next month.
Stuart and Kevin - Putting a roof over my head, letting me use their pc's and general selflessness at great personal inconvenience.
I don't deserve my friends.
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13 | 07 | 05
Two more tracks on the main page: 'Rejoicing...' and 'FID'.
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07 | 07 | 05
There are two new tracks on the main page, 09.06.05 and Lullaby. I found a VSTi Mellotron emulator (I'm in love) so it gets abused all over Lullaby. I wrote Lullaby this week, it's sentimental music. I'm increasingly disliking my own music. I wouldn't listen to me if I wasn't me.
09.06.05 is a sound I love, I could listen to it for hours.
I've read a few essays by George Orwell recently. I love Orwell's writings, he has the unnerving but welcome habit of pointing out things in my character that I wouldn't usually like to admit to. These in particular hit a few nails squarely on the head... I recommend them:
Notes on NationalismPolitics and the English Language
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20 | 06 | 05
I've had a lot of time to myself. Too much perhaps. I don't mind it but I really need to start DOING THINGS. Like writing and job hunting and talking to people and writing emails and doing something about the thoughts that come into my head whenever my mind wanders.
I've always tried to avoid leaving things unsaid. The prospect of continually looking back on my life and asking 'what if...?' has always scared me. But that's an easy doctrine to recite and there have been plenty of occassions where I've had to deal with those thoughts. This is one of them. What if I hadn't settled for the easy outcome? What if I had said what I really felt? What if I hadn't been scared of making the same mistakes all over again? What if I'd admitted that I could barely type a reply because my hands were shaking so much (like they're shaking now)? Whatifwhatifwhatifwhatif........ I'm so scared.
Anyhow... I'm going to Reading this weekend. That will be good. A weekend isn't long enough, there's people I'm not going to be able to see. It's been too long since I was there.
I don't think I'm having much success with making sentences tonight. I'm going to give up.
Site of the day: http://oneword.com/index.html .Ha.
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08 | 06 | 05
I have a lot to write. I hope I can get through it without falling asleep.
On Thursday we all went into the department to get our results. We had to go in at 9 to find out if we had a viva (students with borderline marks get grilled by 3 external examiners to see if they're worth the higher classification or not). I was one of them. I felt like crap - I thought I'd finished, that everything was finished but then I had to pick myself up and face another exam. That was not a fun morning.
In the viva the 3 wise men took turns at making me feel stupid. First an organic chemist grilled me on organic chemistry. Then an inorganic chemist picked me apart with inorganic chemistry. And finally a physical chemist thought he'd try my knowledge of photochemistry. It was brutal, supposed to last 40 minutes but ran on to an hour and ten. I practically ran out of the room at the end. I felt there was no way they'd mark me up. I was gutted.
Most of the afternoon was spent in the cinema (saw Sin City (it's good)). We went back for our results at 4. We got envelopes. Me and Derek opened ours in an empty lecture theatre. I got a first.
A FIRST!
It still makes me laugh. How in the name of Tinned Tomato Soup did I pull that off!? The three wise men must have liked me (maybe it was my manners). It sounds strange but, at the time, I think I was more concerned about Derek's result. He got a first too. I was over the moon, he deserves it more than any of us... he's put more of his life into chemistry than anyone else in the class and he went through so much with the exams. Nice one mate - for the little it's worth, I'm proud of you.
Well, that was that. A quick trip to the pub and a lot of running around the department with a perma-grin showing that scrunched up piece of paper to anyone who'd make eye contact. Then the Cheese and Wine. I couldn't drink much due to recovering from stomach upset. I had a couple before I started receiving warning signals from the monster. Spent the rest of the night explaining to people why I didn't have a cup of punch in either hand.
That was a weird evening. Moreso than the ball, but I think for the same reasons. Everyone was so emotionally shattered. The relief was palpable. I've been thinking more about the situation we all find ourselves in and the weirdness of the ball and the cheese and wine... I can't yet put it into words though. It's been playing on my mind.
Personally, my night was stranger than most. In a good way. I've spent a while tonight talking to a friend about what happened. The events of the last week have affected me so much. I had to reread our conversation twice.
I think I'm happy.
Anyway... I've been trying to make music. I've been struggling with a few things over the past couple of weeks. The first is technical - trying to get my new Tascam US-122 working properly. I think I've managed to get it going reasonably. There were a few things I was wanting it for: 1. Using it to play through the PC so I can use the PC as a processing tool; 2. Recording (my previous recordings have been very poor quality, this was supposed to help with that); 3. Phantom power for my mic. I think I've just managed to achieve 1 and 2 today after a hell of a lot of tweaking and trying out different programs and drivers. I've ended up using Sonar - I like it a lot. As for 3... I'll try out the mic in the next couple of days, See if the preamp works well enough.
I recorded a new track which is on the front page. Red Moon. This exemplifies another problem I've been having... songwriting. All my instumentals are short. Little ideas. I need to learn how to write a piece of music. Just listen to Red Moon - there's nothing like a proper structure or coherence to it. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Well, it gives me something to work at. Anyway, this is already grotesquely overlong. I might go to bed now.
Before I go I think I need to write this down:
Paul, you're happy - remember this.
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30 | 05 | 05
I am done! Exams finished last week. I'm just happy they're over. I don't think I did as well as I might have but I don't mind too much now. And so... the Grad Ball was on Thursday...
Oh dear.
I like kilts - I really do - but the rest of that costume makes me look like a clown. A clown in a skirt. Why all the rest of that nonsense is required is beyond me. What is the purpose of a waistcoat that doesn't come close to your waist?
Anyhoo, it was a great evening. Lots of fun. I feel like talking about all the strange things that happened but I haven't gathered my thoughts on all that yet.
I'll be back soon, we get our results on Thursday so I'll let y'all know how that trauma takes to me.
And Happy Birthday Amy.
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08 | 05 | 05
Well, here it is. I haven't been around in a while and most of you know that there's a reason for that. My Finals are here.
I sat the first of 5 on Friday, I have one tomorrow, one on Tuesday, then Thursday, and Monday to finish it all up.
Studying has been difficult. Things just aren't staying in my head the way they used to. And I really feel my attention span has been further "westernized". Right now I'm feeling pretty numb about the whole thing, something doesn't feel right - the urgency isn't here.
Friday's exam wasn't good, the questions weren't nice and I seemed to think tin is in group 5. Rookie. Oh yeah, and I couldn't write the letter "B". Go figure. It sounds paranoid I know, but I do sometimes think that lately what little intelligence I have is slipping away from me and I get scared that I'm not noticing it, slowly gliding toward intellectual entropy.
Anyway, I need to get some sleep for tomorrow. I'll probably post again and let y'all know how this week pans out.
Wish me luck.
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20 | 03 | 05
Soooooo glad last week is over. Although, I don't feel particularly relieved. I guess the work ahead has a lot to do with that.
Friday was the deadline for the first draft of my thesis. I'm not quite sure how I got it finished in time, but I did. Friday was also the presentation day. A room full of chemists, some particularly brilliant chemists, industry reps and (worst of all) other final years. Any of you who know me well know that I'm not very comfortable with being the centre of attention. I was cacking myself.
I got through it though. Gave a presentation. I think. I can't remember too much about it. Oh, apart from the bit where I told everyone I suck. Yeah, I remember that.
Listening to Cocteau Twins at the moment, Elizabeth Fraser's vocals are singularly the most amazing and annoying thing I have ever heard.
I've spent most of this weekend avoiding work by playing guitar loudly. I think I'm in a bit of a strange place, musically. I could really do with a kick in the ass. I could always do with a kick in the ass.
I used to have a friend who was amazing at that. Put the boot right where I needed it.
I miss her.
"Lost a friend to oceans
Lost a friend to hills
Lost a friend suicide
Lost a friend to pills
Lost a friend to monsters
Lost a friend to shame
Lost a friend to marriage
Lost a friend to blame
Lost a friend to worry
Lost a friend to wealth
Lost a friend to stubborn pride
And then I lost myself."
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28 | 02 | 05
Today is some day around the end of February, it's 23.06 apparently. There's no-one online, my downloads are lingering lazily in a queue and I'm fed up of reading about mystery envelopes and the pacifism of Japan. I tried to write some music earlier and my power supply croaked... plug into the computer and any creative inclination is snuffed out by a 25 millisecond latency. Fighting for space at the front of my mind is a thesis which is in no way going to be finished in the next 3 weeks (I wish it'd give up the ghost and leave me to procrastinate in peace). I should be sleeping - dreaming of olefinations of esters, lactones, lactams and amides - but 300mg of caffeine has different plans. I think it's raining. I think it'll be raining tomorrow. And I'll be trawling through a library trying to find words I already know. 23.23
Just like me to complain when there's absolutely nothing wrong.
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23 | 01 | 05
This is a picture of Loch Lomond. It's pretty. Which, presumably, is why someone thought it would be fun to dig a military base into the glen off to the right. The MoD is our friend.
Long time, no update. Welcome to 2005 - just like 2004 but with an even more gung-ho George. I'm doing alright. Holidays were good but I'm now struck with the pressure of the next few months followed by the uncertainty of the months thereafter.
Actually, I'm not alright. Things are getting me down. I've had this song stuck in my head for a while, 'There's a River in the Valley Made of Melting Snow' by A Silver Mount Zion. It pretty much sums up how I'm feeling right now. I couldn't stop thinking about it when we went to Loch Lomond. About how I want out of here. How I want away from expectation. Away from practicality.
Solution? Music. I've been playing so much guitar recently my work is beginning to suffer because of it. I think that's a good thing for now. Though I haven't written a song (or anything else for that matter) for some time, there's a couple of new instrumentals on the front page. (I couldn't think of titles so De and I flicked through a book of Pablo Neruda poetry until we found some.) Eran las Siete y Media is something I recorded while I was avoiding people by locking myself in my room. I like it. ...Benzene is a piece I'm unsure about - I don't know if it's finished yet. Thought I'd put it up anyway.
I'll try to say hello again in the near future, I'm forcing myself to write so the next update will no doubt be crap.
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08 | 11 | 04
I've had a scary evening. I played at the open mic night at Sleazy's. Man, I was scared (still am, oddly) - I played a song called Limericks, it's a few (4!) years old and is simple and very short. Not much room to muck it up, managed to anyhow, started on the wrong note and ended up having to hack together an improvised melody half way through. But I got it out in one piece with no serious embarrassments or fear induced catatonia. Arg, such a strange 5 minutes of my life - so many memories but so little to remember.
I'm going back next week.
Finished rerecording Tooth, at last, this weekend. I found some scary Christian fundamentalist debate audio online so I nicked it and used it as a backdrop - it kinda works. It's uploading now. Enjoy.
Erm... what else? Oh, if you like some of the pictures on this site then go visit http://www.lomohomes.com/greek_acrobat to see more. lomography.com is a great site I stumbled across last week and have put up a bunch of pics on there.
That be it all for now. I'm gonna go stare at the ceiling for a while. Bye.
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26 | 10 | 04
I've just heard that John Peel has died and I am sad.
He helped me to really appreciate music - one of those influences that really helped me understand it. I used stay up on school nights to hear his show, jump around my room while the rest of the house was sleeping - a half-clothed, flailing, pasty white boy. Later his shows kept me half sane during exam periods. The only decent show on national radio. And now I'm sad.
I know my sentiments don't matter but they're real. And so I've spent the last hour jumping around my room half-clothed belting out the most glorious sounds I can find in my record box in his honour.
Thanks John.
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16 | 10 | 04
Hello again. No picture today. But there is a new song on the front page. Not the one I was going to rerecord, still working on that.
I want to tell you about this new song.
Firstly, it's a song - with lyrics - and me singing (a wee shiver trembled down my spine just then). This is the first song I've let other people hear willy nilly and I'm scared. All comments welcome (as always).
Secondly, it doesn't have a title so if you think of a funky one let me know.
Thirdly, I didn't want to put this song up because I didn't think it was that good. Then I listened to it again the other day (under prompting of filip) and it made me cry. It reminds me of Reading - not in the subject matter, just the memories connected to recording it - mostly all my lovely friends down there and the warm, un-Scottish breeze through my bedroom. So this song is dedicated (in the most corny way) to the people I love and miss in Reading - hope y'all like it.
Lastly, I'm sorry for the poor quality of the rendering, 128kbps doesn't do it justice but thus is the way of things.
Song aside. Life is decent and hard work. The prospect of singing songs to other people willy nilly is bothering me more, I think I need to do it. Please hassle me as much as you feel necessary to get me to do this. I need it. That's about it for now. Let me know what you think of untitled.
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03 | 10 | 04
Hehe, I am home.
Back in Glasgow now. Started uni now. Things are pretty good again, it's good to be a student again. Music hassle is still getting to me but I'm trying to work through it. I think I need to start playing live. Maybe. Arg, I don't like the idea - I'm not good enough. Ugh, don't want to think about it now.
There's a new story on the front page. More like a poem. I never really thought of this stuff as poetry before until somebody mentioned it to me last week. Is it? If it is poetry it's fairly crap poetry.
I think you might hear from me again soon.
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08 | 09 | 04
Righty, I think I'm going to update this page on occaision - kind of like a pseudo-blog. Maybe one day I'll do a real blog (I don't think I like the idea of a blog at the moment, so we'll just see how this goes).
I had planned to add a new track to the front page today but my old recording of it was not good. So I decided to rerecord it but I'm going through one hell of a, well, musical crisis. Long story. It's getting me down though and I can't record anything just now. Maybe soon.
Also trying to find a flat which is doing my head in. Things are a bit crap. This cheers me up though...
Oh, and much thankfulness to Matt for hosting this site and being nice. And not hassling me too much about my htmling. Bye.
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28 | 08 | 04
Hi. This is my site that I made while waking up at 11am and sleeping at 4am. Please read the stories slowly. It would be nice if you took as long to read them as I took to write them. But that's not going to happen so, err, just take your time. Ta.
As you'll see, this site is made up of some pictures, little stories, an mp3 or two and bad html.
Stories were written out of excessive daydreaming and pinned to the wall above my desk. The pictures were taken with my lovely camera.
The mp3s are a few small tracks that were going through my head while writing this. A couple of them are old and recorded on a 4track which frustrated my amazing skills of production and so are fairly poor quality. But I like that. Unfortunately, ripping them from tape has left them in mono and some details can't be heard well - but they'll do. The others are newer and recorded with a setup similar to that in the picture below. One is a choir singing backwards.
That's all I can think to say just now so I'm going eat lunch and put capacitors into folded sheets of paper. I leave you with a mess:
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